


as a goodbye.

by bittertofu



Series: thirty-five ways he said 'i love you.' [32]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 17:50:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12462795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittertofu/pseuds/bittertofu
Summary: And yet he still hoped. [GOOD END]





	as a goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> So sorry for the long delay and the short chapter. I felt guilty and thought I should at least post SOMETHING. Please know that I haven't abandoned this work. My life has just been consumed by...well, life things. This "Good End" is not necessarily good. It's just not bad. The "True End" will be happy, I promise. Love y'all.

The envelope in his pocket burned against his thigh even through the fabric of his pants, the weight and warmth of it a beating heart. He hadn't looked at it since Sojiro slid it to him across the Leblanc counter two months ago, fearing, knowing what it would say. It stayed on him, a dreaded talisman of sorts. He slept with it at his bedside every night. Morgana urged him gently to open it, said he had to read it at some point or, if it was really that horrible, to toss it out and be done with it – but Akira Kurusu could bring himself to do neither.

Throwing the letter away was out of the question. It was in all likelihood the last link he would ever have to what he yearned for above all else. Reading it was out of the question, too. He felt that if he read it then, once and for all, a part of his life that he never wanted to let go of would come to an end. So the letter sat in his pocket day in, day out, weighing heavier and heavier and heavier. Sometimes it was so heavy, so hot, his body shook.

Today was no different. He sat at the edge of his bed, staring at his hands (as he'd been doing for a month), thinking of nothing (as he'd been doing for a month), the letter silently beckoning him (as it had been doing for a month). Yet, no different as it was, today was also special. It'd been one month exactly since Goro Akechi's verdict was handed back guilty. One month exactly since Goro Akechi went to prison for the rest of his life.

Akira took a deep breath. Shuddered at the air leaving his lungs. He grinned, bitterly.

Things could have been so much worse. Almost were so much worse. At least Goro was alive. Akira tried to tell himself this every day, and today especially, when his chest was so tight that breathing left behind an intimate ache.

“You could write him back, you know,” said Morgana, curled up on the bed behind him. “You'd have to read the letter first, though.”

Akira said nothing. Had nothing to say. Loudly, the envelope accused him where it rested against his leg. He pulled it out – just to have a look, that's all – and stared at the crumpled edges. His name was written across the back in Goro's obnoxiously curling script. Akira's bitter smile tightened.

“It was selfish, you know.” Morgana again. “What Akechi did. But I understand why he did it. You understand too, don't you?”

Akira shook his head. Brought the envelope up and pressed it against his forehead. There was nothing, nothing that would make him want to understand (even if, in the deepest part of him, he did).

The bed shifted, and Morgana hopped to the floor. He strode a few paces forward, stopped, looked back over his shoulder.

“Read it. If not for yourself, then for him. It's what he wanted.”

With that, Morgana ran down the stairs and out of sight.

Akira shook and shook and shook, was alarmed to realize it was quiet laughter that shook him. It wasn't the end of the world (the Phantom Thieves of Hearts had prevented that), and Goro Akechi hadn't died (he lived, he lived, thank whatever gods remained, he lived). Still, it wasn't easy. _This_ (he stared at the envelope, frowned at it, ran his thumbs over his name in ink) wasn't easy.

But he knew it had to be done. He understood that – that didn't mean he wasn't angry about it. That didn't mean it didn't cut him to the core.

With shaking hands (deep breath in, deep breath out), he slipped his thumb under the lip of the envelope and slid it open. Slowly, slowly, he extracted the hated (so very beloved) letter from within. Slowly, slowly, he unfolded it.

The lump that rose in his throat at the sight of Goro's handwriting so delicately filling lines of the page near choked him. His eyes stung, and he bit his lip, hard. It took everything in him not to rip the letter into pieces, but he made it through, all the way to the very last line. The very last line...

Nothing was okay, exactly. But it wasn't bad, either. Akira hurt. He hurt so badly, it was a chore to exist. Still, through that hurt, he cracked a smile. It probably wasn't what Goro intended, but if anything, the letter just made Akira's resolve all the stronger. He wouldn't give up. He would never, never give up. If there was a way to get Akechi out of prison, he would find it, even if it meant turning society on its head. It's what he was good at, after all.

He wasn't a Phantom Thief for nothing.

 

* * *

 

_Akira,_

_I wanted to thank you. For everything. You taught me what it meant to feel again, something other than anger. Something other than hatred. Shido consumed my life for so long...I wish you and I had met a few years earlier. We could have been rivals. Maybe even friends. Perhaps even more._

_Still, I don't regret my decision. I want you to know that. After everything I've done, this is right. This is justice. I hope you won't regret it either. Please try to understand my point-of-view. I'm doing this for both of us. Despite everything you and the others taught me, there's still much I need to work on before I can consider myself human again. So please. You have to let me go. Promise me._

_I want you to know that in whatever way I could, I cherished you. I still cherish you. And I always will._

_You'll live a full life, Akira Kurusu. I know you will._

_Take care of yourself, and do try to forget me. Destroy this letter, if you have to. It'd probably be for the best. I won't be writing again._

_Warmest regards,_

_Goro Akechi._

 

 


End file.
